Wednesday, December 28, 2011


Why do you love me?

Why do you keep teaching me?

Never forgetting me?

Placing things in my hands?

Undeniable gifts from you?

In all the mess of a hurting and broken world, your eyes stop on me?

Once more you offer me the gift, the glimpse of grace?

Thank you. Humbly, thank you.

I am significant to you, the God who...what? Made everything. Set it in motion. All of it! How great is your love...for me. Simply because you are, you love me. You haven't and will never forget me. I'll rest here, in this place beneath your wing. I am warm, secure, felt. I will enjoy the quiet in the midst of life which at times can crush me, tear me, hurt me.

I will whisper my thankfulness to you here while we both remember the grief you have pulled me from and rejoice knowing your pain and my pain have not been wasted. I would not be me and you would not be recognized by me as my what? What words can I use? My breath, my blood, my everything that has kept me alive in the unbearable suffering.

Thank you, Jesus. Thank you for bringing me safely to this place, this time, for not leaving me wrecked, and in indescribable despair. You could have left me in that heap with only groans escaping me because the pain was too deep for words. It was too ugly for most to look at. They turned away. You looked and heard me. You picked me up and held me securely. I was able to take one breath then another. Slowly you helped me stand, and I started to have words again. No longer dying, slashed, a nothing. You whispered truth to me as you lifted the lid from the trashcan I'd been thrown into. You were so very very gentle with my wounds when you reached in to lift me out, knowing it was inevitable that it would hurt for me to live again. You were quiet. I had been thrown, stuffed, crushed into a place of darkness, but you, you saw me there and gently rescued me.

How great is your love for me.

I humbly whisper thank you, thank you for saving my life.

Psalm 40: 1-3

1I waited patiently for the Lord;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
2He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
3He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the Lord.