Strength

I was praying for a friend this morning. I was praying she would have the strength to get through the day while exhausted and having no choice but to keep on moving.

This lead me to think about strength. As I was praying and thinking, "Is this what I should be praying for her", I remember strength is what we all need because we are not very strong on our own. I have to feel His strength because life is a challenge. I am just being real. There may be people out there who breeze on through, but I doubt it, and if there are, I am not one of them. Everyday I face my weaknesses. Some days are harder than others obviously, but the truth is, I battle depression, fear, anxiety and some days they slap me around and win for a moment or two. These weaknesses lie to me, cause me to give up, defeat me. I can't conquer them on my own. The phrases "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" or "God helps those who help themselves" are well intended, but are they really the truth?

I don't think so. From what I can tell, He helps the desperate, blind, poor, lame, sick, broken of this world. Spiritually and emotionally I have...or still do...fit into all the "weak" categories. But let me say, I have one powerful God who loves to gently and patiently pick me up and set me back on my feet when I have had no sleep, have had an argument with someone whose heart I adore, there are too many things to do or face in a day, and I am just plain weak, exhausted, sad, angry, or all of the above. In my weakness, I am made strong because of Him. I would love to say that I take my limitations in stride and with good cheer, but I fight them...frequently. But, I do know that without them, I would not be the person I am today. I would not have the compassion that I have toward others. I would be judgmental if I was able to rescue myself. He has put in me the strength to put one foot in front of the other, and He has given me the assurance that I am being made into what he wants me to be because of my weaknesses. Nothing is wasted with Him. He never gives up on me, never throws me into the junk pile and thinks He needs to start over. He just keeps plugging along with me, picking me up when I stumble over the chair in the middle of the floor or that dust mite that seems to get me once in awhile...flattening me like a little one. I wish I didn't fall, but I love what this says. "My weaknesses push me to my knees and there is no danger then of walking around high and mighty." I am aware of my need for Him, and I am grateful that the things of this world drive me to Him. I know full well that without Him...I can really screw things up and be trampled. I can rest down here on my knees.

2 Corinthians 12:9
The Message (MSG)
7-10Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn't get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan's angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn't think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,

My grace is enough; it's all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.
Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.

Humility

It is easier when I am on my knees. Nothing can knock me down when I am there, but when I stand up...the world hits, and it can hit hard. How do I stay, become, humble on my feet? Humility is not humiliation. I can't get this mixed up. Humility is quiet. Humiliation is loud and ugly and leaves you naked, a martyr to an unworthy cause. Humility covers you with a blanket of peace.

Maybe the basic ingredient of humility is thankfulness, being small enough to see what we've been given by the God who makes button noses, little toes, fingerprints on tiny fingers, turns death into life in each seed, restores minds, and heals shattered hearts. Humility must be to acknowledge the God who knit all of this together perfectly. Humility must be the act of stopping, looking, and asking to see so that a good can grow in the wounded human heart.

Maybe humility is an act that magnifies my need for Him. Without him, I would not be. Simple, organic, basic truth. If He knit me together in my mother's womb, watched me form cell by cell, had a purpose for ME before the foundation of the earth was even laid, then what am I ...original, valuable, significant?

I want to see more clearly the reflection of His goodness, of His gifts, of His ultimate act of humility. It is a reflection that while I was still lost, He hung, was crushed, became sin so that I could stand here today with the opportunity to be humble, thankful, without despair!

Oh God, don't let me miss your reflection. Take off the scales that keep me blind to who you are. Let me fall to my knees not out of desperation, but out of being small, safe, tucked away like a child under your greatness.